(CM 1145) The Einstein of Happiness

I read an interview today called “The Einstein of Happiness” and it really stuck with me. A woman named Patricia Freeman interviewed Allen Parducci, a fifty-seven year old professor of psychology who is also a happiness scholar. He wanted to test the theory that “every man is a suffering machine and a happiness machine combined, and for every happiness turned out in one department, the other stands ready to modify it with a sorrow or pain.” Now the interview itself isn’t what fascinated me, what caught my attention was the research he gathered.

He said that if people want to be happy than they have to stop thinking in the future. They can’t keep thinking that they would be happier if they had a bigger income, or if they married a certain person. Instead, they should learn to delight in what they have and look forward to things that happen every day. I agree with this completely. People today are so consumed with having top-of-the-line stuff that they are missing out on the important things in life. People need to be grateful for what they have because there are individual’s in this world that have nothing at all. Parducci said “if I made a million dollars, would I be happier?” He said he had friends who have made that kind of money but it did not make them happy.  People think that having expensive things will make them happy, but money doesn’t buy you happiness.

Parducci met a women who was dying of cancer and he said that she was the happiest person he had ever met. The six months before she died was like a party every night and when Parducci asked her how she felt about death, she replied “I know I could die any time, but I’m very happy.”  I find this woman amazing. She knows her days are numbered and she still has a smile on her face.I find it crazy how she is dying and yet she is happier than several other people in the world.

Parducci thinks that people make themselves out to be happier than they really are, because there’s an implication that there’s something wrong with you if you can’t arrange your life to be satisfying. I found myself in this exact position last year. I had been dating this guy for two and a half years but I wasn’t happy, and everybody knew I wasn't happy because I looked depressed every time they saw me. People would ask me “why don’t you smile?” and “why are you always sad?” After a while all the questions and comments got to me, and I started feeling more unhappy. Eventually I had to make myself believe I was happy with this guy when I really wasn’t. I made myself out to be happier than I really was, because I was afraid there was something wrong with me since my relationship wasn't satisfying.

TIPS

• Happiness can’t be bought or learned, it has to come from within. 
• Don’t live in the future, live for today and cherish what you have.